Saturday, October 5, 2013

Accepting my MS

So it's been a while since I've posted anything.  I went through a little stage where I found it too hard to write about what was accuring and thought that if I didnt write about it, I didnt have to accept it.

The motto that is seen in many "encouragement" pieces for people who have MS is

"I have MS but MS doesnt have me"

usually followed with a powerful statement of how to "fight" one's MS.

For 18 plus months I have been fighting MS.  I've made it my life goal to understand why I have such an extreme case of MS and what I can do to stop it.  I've traveled to some of the best doctors here on the East Coast and have spent days trying new therapies and theories.

But no matter what I try or what doctor I go to, the end summary is the same: I have a severe, agressive, and disabling case of Multiple Sclerosis.

I have MS and unfortunately, it has me too.  It dictates my days, my physical well-being and even has caused further diagnosis such as Secondary Parkinson's Disease (so lovely!).

It took a few weeks of debating and inner struggle but I finally decided to accept my MS and stop fighting it.  To stop looking for those answers that arent there.  To accept that I'm sick, there is no cure currently, that the chances of me getting worse are high. 

And while some may look and see my acceptance as giving in, it rather has brought a free feeling.  There is nothing I can do about my MS except accept it and move on, with it in tow.  I will continue my medications, my therapies, my diets and alternative options.  But I'm not going to fight it anymore.  Its not going away.  The best I can do is accept it and strive for a better quality of life.

I have Multiple Sclerosis.  I am not a fighter...I am a survivor.  Each day I get up and live with MS, I am surviving my diagnosis.  And I will keep surviving.  And sparkling. 

So that's my little story on The Sparkled Life's motto life change.  Now that I have sorted out what direction I'd like to continue with, I look forward to sharing my road of acceptance back on the blog.

Starting with updates on Team Sparkle's Bike MS City to Shore ride and my day in the Big Apple!

Oh and I havent forgotten...the wedding DIY's are coming as well. 

Hope that today is beautiful!!