Thursday, May 1, 2014

That One Time I Started Walking Again

Something magical happened recently in The Sparkled Life. 

I started walking again.  Like legit walking.  Without trusty arm crutch Edward.  (cue celebrations!!!)

This is a huge deal being that my first symptom that led to my diagnosis with multiple sclerosis in 2012 was my inability to walk correctly.  Add to it that last year I was in my wheelchair...literally, this is huge. 
Technically I dont walk "correctly".  I walk a new walk that includes thinking really hard and gaging things properly since I cant feel my feet at all or my legs half the time.  Yet still, it's walking.

Easter Sunday I even walked the church parking lot in two inch platform shoes.  And I thought I'd never.

Learning to walk again wasnt just a decision I made lightly.  Walking with the arm crutch had become exactly that: a crutch.  People looked at me and they could see something was wrong with me.  I parked in handicapped parking and it was ok because I had the crutch.  I would stumble but catch myself before I fell because of, yes, the crutch. 

Now, if you look really close, I sometimes look like a drunk person walking.  I park in handicapped because I still cant walk very far, and I see the judgement stares.  And the worst part, if I miss a step and fall, there is nothing to catch me anymore. 

Yes, this is a huge achievement for me.  It's also a dangerous and hard one.  

I dont let that stop me though.  I even take it steps forward and GO for walks (legit two mile ones).  I push myself.  


Yes, part of it is to show the people who said I would never walk again that they had no idea who they were talking to. 
Part of it is because I want to feel normal again.

Mostly though, it's because I want to show the world that I'm sick, I'm in pain, I'm held together by a weird drug, I wake up hurting and go to be hurting, I'm unsure of the quality of my future, etc. etc.  I have the best excuse in the book of excuses to stay in bed and watch netflix while eating goldfish all day.

And you know what kid?  I woke up today and freaking (excuse my language) walked.  

Now go get your sneakers and start walking with me.  


Not everything you put your mind to you can achieve (this is real life).  But if you work hard, pray hard, and dont give up, you might just land yourself darn close to that dream.

To walking!!