Monday, May 11, 2015

Celebrate the Real

I actually really dislike blogging (and instagramming and tumblring and etc).  

It's not easy for me.   I can be a very prideful person.  I like to keep the "bad things" to myself; showing my real cards makes me feel and look weak.  My worst fear is being known as "that girl with MS".  After all I have achieved in life, all the goals I still have, it's a huge shame that that's what I become summarized as.

And yet, here the hell I am. 

What gets me here is a process.  I first have to think of something to write about.  And then, while writing, I usually go over it 2 to 10 times because the first draft is just so gloomy I cant even and I'm all about positivity.  This process usually leaves me somewhere in tears and wishing I'd never even started writing in the first place. 

And then there's the step even before that that gets me started. 

It usually comes in the form of a message, whether it be a text, an email, a post on a picture.  But it can be summarized the same:

"I came across your blog and THANK YOU!  I'm newly diagnosed and your TRUTH and ability to SHARE gives me hope."

Sharing in the truth of the real of my sometimes bad but always silver lining good life gives people hope.  They thank me.  

Damn it. 

And it's not fun because I'd much rather be a fashionista blogger, or a book/tv/movie synopsis blogger, or an annoying mommy blogger (hah jk).

Yet here is the sparkled life.  Here is an incredibly unfortunate story about a girl who got MS. 

Who ended up in a wheelchair.

Who's undergoing chemotherapy treatments. 

Who sometimes become so burdened with life that sitting there and crying seems like the best option.   

But you know what's beautiful about this real story?  It's my life!  It is unfortunately beautiful in the chaos of the worst. 

I'm going to encourage you to not be afraid of your real and rather to celebrate it.  It is what makes up the chapters of your life.  And if you only celebrate the good real, and never the bad real, you're missing on an opportunity to fully and completely live.  

Recently I posted this picture of myself on facebook, making it official that I was in a wheelchair and letting all know it.  (And yes a piece of my pride died along with it).

Why?  Because it is a real piece of my life.  People posts about engagements, marriages, babies, new jobs, moving.  These are all to be celebrated and justifiably so.  

But you know what's also to be celebrated?  The fact that I'm in a wheelchair and it totally sucks and I hate it but I still have a true smile on my face.  

That is celebrating the real.  

Embrace yours.

Side note: I'm not encouraging the opportunity to throw a pity party for yourself on every little bad thing that comes across your way.  Sometimes you have to grow some you know's and deal with it instead of facebooking/instagramming/twittering it.  This is just as true as Tom Brady having deflated balls to look better.  (: